sarah

i was listening to npr yesterday in the car on my way somewhere. i can't even remember where i was going or why, but the book they were discussing stuck with me. "the faith club." it brought back the memory of the friends i've lost who i had that kind of relationship with. one i was close to, but not to her family. the other i was close to her whole family. sarah. i suppose i never have taken the time to grieve, never talked to her family, couldn't attend the funeral, and generally miss her just about every day. a few people have told me i should contact her family, but i just don't know what to say and don't want to open any wounds that needn't be rehashed. i can't even begin to imagine losing a sister or a child, when losing a friend like her has been this hard. i know she was worried about everyone when she was sick, so i made sure to always be hopeful and happy and capable of moving on around her, but after she died, i just never managed to find any kind of peace with her passing.

sarah was never ashamed of her faith or religion in a group of friends who were cynical and agnostic at best. she never judged any of our absurdity or even the angry atheists amongst us. she did try to point us in a better direction more than once, always accepting the angry reactions her good intention illicited with a smile and an apology. i called her my moral compass. i think she's most of the reason why i still manage to claim my religion and practice here and there despite the great deal of flack i get for it from well meaning friends and disenchanted family.

and in a silly political way that she would appreciate i miss her too. she was a republican and very active in the party as well. moderate, open minded, kind replublicans seem to be in short supply these days......

i've been asking heather for a copy of a picture of all of us together at my house in grapevine in 1997 or 98 for years, but i think i'm going to gank it and copy it next time i'm in her house. i have another picture of her and kelly from her 16th birthday party. i'll try to scan it in sometime soon. i have a few other things here and there i get violently angry about when people mess with them. she used to bring me little presents from pakistan when she would go to visit family here and there. i'm a bit attached to them now.

anywho, back to the normal insanity.

better, but no cigar

i feel like i'm playing some kind of lottery that i generally lose when it comes to normal bodily functions. my numbers pay out this month, but i'm still uncomfortable, so its something like not losing but only winning 2 cents on a dollar ticket.

little people are waking up. gotta call a few people. back to life, back to reality.....

arbitrary life insurance

this claims service company sent us a letter saying that my grandpa had a life insurance policy that was never claimed that they would claim for a fee. now we're on the hunt for the original policy. they gave us just enough info to call the original life insurance company, so here we go. it turns out he had policies here and there and everywhere, but he had sold most of them, so this one i guess everyone forgot about, including him..... he died about 10 yrs ago. say a little prayer for him. amen.

we made it back

after a long trip and a long fight with mothernature, we're back in texas. if we've learned anything, we've learned that its COLD in idaho. also, it is possible for the department of transportation to close an entire state. i've driven a lot, but i'd never seen that before this past weekend. i called okdot, and they said something to the effect of, well, don't drive in any of oklahome if you don't have to. then about an hour later they closed it to everyone but emergency vehicles. the storm hit ok so bad that the next day it was still snowed over even though it was 40 degrees.

i'll post a pic of the snow in idaho if i ever find one. so far i don't have a good one. it was too hard to think enough to take one in that cold.

other than the weather we're doing good with the grancrete. i think we're going to be moving to san anonio this week. things are moving fast. we found a possible house and we're going to see it on wednesday. woowoo!